standing
at the tram stop
carlisle st
thinking
we are always
preparing
for death
it's a question
of style
watching
the young woman
in black tights
her perfect
figure
crossing barkly st
diagonally
where
we live is
where we dream
& thinking
has no co-ordinates
the illusion of place /
& time /
the necessity of
conscious focus
binding the present
& thinking
has no co-ordinates
the illusion of place /
& time /
the necessity of
conscious focus
binding the present
to the eternal
& in the space
between each word
a beating heart
is found to hold
& in the space
between each word
a beating heart
is found to hold
april
I have lost hold
of myself
in the flux
or at least
the belief
that I ever had
a place of
stillness
& so
it has
come down
of myself
in the flux
or at least
the belief
that I ever had
a place of
stillness
& so
it has
come down
to
small tasks
as if definition
in minutiae
is all that is left
to hold against
a disappearance
into
the great
undefined swirl
& the question
rises
is there ever
any other way?
these are quiet days
of no grand schemes
of no wild
pretences /
of no wild
pretences /
& in this distress
I find
I am a stranger
to myself
of
one instant /
tell
me what does not
fit?
O
yes
you
rework the world
as a
pair of hips
or
the distance as
that
never
reached
sweet
&
furthermore
to
rhyme it
is
to falsify
it
(&
ain't that just
a
kick in the head)
nevertheless
what
can be said
&
some would say
that
is all there is
ok
fill
out the paperwork
&
remember
infinity
is just
a
sign ∞
so
I
ask you
and
all believers
especially
the
true
(sad
lost bastards
that
they are)
stand
down
give
us
a
rest from
that
constant
drum
roll
&
let the leaves
fall
just
as they do
with
no
imperative
&
sound
less
ly
bret b
so
he's homeless
sitting there
on the pavement
outside the food court
in his rags
& a paper cup
silent begging
I didn't like
the look of him
but one day I relented
& gave him a 10
as I'm walking away
he says
'where ya bin?'
it pulled me up
but I kept going
but it stuck with me
'where ya bin?'
why did he say that?
a couple of weeks later
I gave him a 20
& he said
'thanks greg'
he's homeless
sitting there
on the pavement
outside the food court
in his rags
& a paper cup
silent begging
I didn't like
the look of him
but one day I relented
& gave him a 10
as I'm walking away
he says
'where ya bin?'
it pulled me up
but I kept going
but it stuck with me
'where ya bin?'
why did he say that?
a couple of weeks later
I gave him a 20
& he said
'thanks greg'
that stumped me
'cause I couldn't place him
at all
'cause I couldn't place him
at all
so the next time
I said
'you know me
but I'm sorry
I don't remember you'
he said
'I've shaved off my hair
& we were all completely
out of it
at the bottom bar
you're greg charlton
I'm bret
bret b
& then I remembered him
he would come in every day
drugged up on something
yeah I knew him
but didn't have much
to do with him
but I was staggered
that was 30 years ago
& he remembered
my name / my full name
& then I remembered him
he would come in every day
drugged up on something
yeah I knew him
but didn't have much
to do with him
but I was staggered
that was 30 years ago
& he remembered
my name / my full name
so every week
when I'd see him
I'd drop him a $20
small tokens
for memory guts
& endurance
when I'd see him
I'd drop him a $20
small tokens
for memory guts
& endurance
& sometimes
when I’d see him
he’d be away with the demons
telling me he'd written
telling me he'd written
all the songs for the ramones
& was just waiting
& was just waiting
for a big pay out
& that he was
the victim of
some kind of wireless
control
that wouldn't leave him
alone
other days
he'd seem quite
clear headed
last week
I asked him how it was
all going
& he stood up
(for the first time)
& told me
he was supposed
to go & get a shot
from some authority
with some drug
& that he was
the victim of
some kind of wireless
control
that wouldn't leave him
alone
other days
he'd seem quite
clear headed
last week
I asked him how it was
all going
& he stood up
(for the first time)
& told me
he was supposed
to go & get a shot
from some authority
with some drug
but they weren't there
he said he hates
the drug they give him
it paralyses his arm
& it makes him aggressive
(& yeah I'd seen him
by the tram stop
he said he hates
the drug they give him
it paralyses his arm
& it makes him aggressive
(& yeah I'd seen him
by the tram stop
walking back & forth
punching the air
& screaming at the sky)
& they tell him
& they tell him
he didn't write the songs
for the ramones
& he's not
being controlled
by radio waves
I said
'why don't you give 'em
the flick
just piss off?'
he said last week
three cop cars
cornered him
on barkly
& the cops said
'you absconded'
so
for the ramones
& he's not
being controlled
by radio waves
I said
'why don't you give 'em
the flick
just piss off?'
he said last week
three cop cars
cornered him
on barkly
& the cops said
'you absconded'
so
they've got
the poor bastard
in a vice
I just shook my head
I said
'look mate
take care
see you soon'
he said
'greg
thank you
the poor bastard
in a vice
I just shook my head
I said
'look mate
take care
see you soon'
he said
'greg
thank you
for your
support”
as I’m walking away
I’m thinking
so he says
he wrote all the ramones’
songs
who’s that hurting?
and being controlled by
radio waves
what about
e.g.
all the so called sane
units
who believe
all is God’s will
& jesus died
on the cross
to save
them?
yes
it
is a slow moving dream /
we clock it
& call that time
space
the moving picture
with no clock
you can rewind
to fade out
a diminishing of
clarity & form /
there is no
fast forward /
only the eternal
now
tic toc-ing
we clock it
& call that time
space
the moving picture
with no clock
you can rewind
to fade out
a diminishing of
clarity & form /
there is no
fast forward /
only the eternal
now
tic toc-ing
tic
out in the hills
a solitary figure
digs
the earth /
as hard as
his heart
his colour is
anguish
his eyes green
fires
burn through
the film of
everything
to nothing
a solitary figure
digs
the earth /
as hard as
his heart
his colour is
anguish
his eyes green
fires
burn through
the film of
everything
to nothing
.
down in st kilda
a 17 year old girl
sits on a concrete fence
outside
the shopping mall
her yellow hair
whispering
to the wind
her heart beats
strong & sure
there is no doubt
the world
a blue sky
of wonder
of wonder
& she is breathless
& true
don’t be a victim
(for stan g)
to the man / woman
caught between
two worlds (or more)
or trapped in
1
the fault is in
not seeing
the infinity
of
inside
& beyond
& the pain of
the past
a useless
indulgence
we are all
susceptible
to
I see you
sitting there
in your sadness
& your cream
jumper
(by the way
you are drinking
too much)
in the book lined
room
floor to ceiling
& the pain of
the past
a useless
indulgence
we are all
susceptible
to
I see you
sitting there
in your sadness
& your cream
jumper
(by the way
you are drinking
too much)
in the book lined
room
floor to ceiling
wall to wall
if you asked me
I would tell you
get rid of them
all the books
except
the ones
you have written
I would tell you
get rid of them
all the books
except
the ones
you have written
p.s.
& I saw you
in your cream
jumper
walking down
the country road
looking into
the barren distance
searching for
the tree
of forgiveness
we live in the mystery of not knowing
/ consciousness
a poor tool
the world outside
(my body included)
how to say?
a poor tool
the world outside
(my body included)
how to say?
a continuous film
through space &
time?
& we are never sure
what /
as to the inside
is it not
just
what we see
outside?
(outside / inside
where is the line?)
& the interminable
questioning /
the anguish
passions / desires
& the ghosts of memory
outside?
(outside / inside
where is the line?)
& the interminable
questioning /
the anguish
passions / desires
& the ghosts of memory
haunting
& beneath this surface
of body
worlds within worlds
that science
with all its
uncertainties
speculations
theories
experiments
desperately
tries to
pin
uncertainties
speculations
theories
experiments
desperately
tries to
pin
I try to play straight to the bat
to face reality
as it presents
the apparent
clear & definite
& the reason for
this pretence
as it presents
the apparent
clear & definite
& the reason for
this pretence
this shielding
from indeterminacy
& uncertainty
is the fear of
dislocation
abandonment
& loss
& the free fall
& the free fall
into
the black heart
of despair
the black heart
of despair
yeah so
I suppose the past
is all we have
as a constant
you see the present
was just here /
& a safe door
holds the future
shut
so /
when that flash
happens
& in a space of
nowhere
& you picture
that room in
the old house /
you can't help
but think
a link
even in the absence
of a chain
all that can be said is
we make connections
(random)
& as moments in time
we are watching
moments in time
is all we have
as a constant
you see the present
was just here /
& a safe door
holds the future
shut
so /
when that flash
happens
& in a space of
nowhere
& you picture
that room in
the old house /
you can't help
but think
a link
even in the absence
of a chain
all that can be said is
we make connections
(random)
& as moments in time
we are watching
moments in time
on this winter’s day
did
some good philosophical writing
this morning
& a picture of my mum & dad
on the book case
both happy in happy days
warms my heart
looking at my torch paintings
bushka I think
of all the greats on my walls
by my chair the poems
of kenneth koch
pronounced coke
this morning
& a picture of my mum & dad
on the book case
both happy in happy days
warms my heart
looking at my torch paintings
bushka I think
of all the greats on my walls
by my chair the poems
of kenneth koch
pronounced coke
who
on the unknown
wrote:
'in
you the voices
of
all living creatures are heard'
jude
as ever /
the beauty & goodness
of this world
her wild blonde hair
told her wittgenstein advised
elizabeth anscombe
to eat ryvita
across the street half a house
sells for 1.72 million
the beauty & goodness
of this world
her wild blonde hair
told her wittgenstein advised
elizabeth anscombe
to eat ryvita
across the street half a house
sells for 1.72 million
this country is now closed & old
the young & hopeful need not apply
I dream of writing a long grand poem
one
that is a glimpse of the eternal spirit
something faster & brighter than hegel /
who knows?
something faster & brighter than hegel /
who knows?
& people talking
their
voices hands facial gestures
yes a babel
only a mystery
if you play the game
of analysis
or deconstruction
yes a babel
only a mystery
if you play the game
of analysis
or deconstruction
derrida
et al
&
the lost highway
of
french philosophy
(just
a deck of cards
&
a jug of wine)
& the young men & the young women
all healthy & beautiful
running around & eating salads
how did I survive?
bukowski
said
the
days run away like wild horses
&
suddenly jerry lee got old
&
so did I
passing
young & jacksons
a
worm hole to my horrors
I
have no time or space for
on
this day of winter sunshine
the
weekly pro-palestine rally
a
scream of / & against / impotence
brings
the city to a stand still
parmenides
or heraclitus?
heraclitus
gets the nod
& I just said to myself
'the world has a hidden heart'
&
nothing followed on
premise
or conclusion?
I
cannot say
st kilda road
concreted / steel symbols
of the body's desire for
endurance & permanence
(somehow the trees
survived the massacre)
& behind / & in
these constructions of
matter
a chaos of minds
reaching for
stability definition
& peace
of the body's desire for
endurance & permanence
(somehow the trees
survived the massacre)
& behind / & in
these constructions of
matter
a chaos of minds
reaching for
stability definition
& peace
fitzroy & grey
& I stood
on this corner
30 yrs ago
homeless
penniless
sick as a dog
about to go
to the salvos
for a voucher
for a taxi
to a hospital
on this corner
30 yrs ago
homeless
penniless
sick as a dog
about to go
to the salvos
for a voucher
for a taxi
to a hospital
I think they’re just going to let it happen
right
down
to
the last man
the last woman
& the last child
this massacre
this genocide
of the palestinian
people /
& all the while
to
the last man
the last woman
& the last child
this massacre
this genocide
of the palestinian
people /
& all the while
they
profess
support
protest
the injustice
& drop pallets
support
protest
the injustice
& drop pallets
of
food
on the starving
there is power
enough
to end this
but power
without courage
is only pretence
&
the empty
rhetoric
of
shadow men
shadow men
so /
I begin
where there is no beginning
in the midst of
everything
as it moves off to
the past
to nothing
but the impressions
images
& is that all there is
to substance?
so /
the flow / motion
& points of reference?
artefacts /
to be dispensed with
memory holds
the illusions
& I am this
a focus /
defying the passage
of time /
& every thought
& action
an attempt at
definition
hands reaching
grasping
in the endless
grey space
of the unknown
where there is no beginning
in the midst of
everything
as it moves off to
the past
to nothing
but the impressions
images
& is that all there is
to substance?
so /
the flow / motion
& points of reference?
artefacts /
to be dispensed with
memory holds
the illusions
& I am this
a focus /
defying the passage
of time /
& every thought
& action
an attempt at
definition
hands reaching
grasping
in the endless
grey space
of the unknown
metaphysica
I
said
reading
antigone
kefala
I
fly
with
the wings
of
her pages
beyond
heart
beyond
stone
metaphysica
II
&
no description holds
only
the bulwark
of
habit & un-thinking
plod
plod
doesn't
last long
despite
therefore
it's
the poetry
of
perception /
of
gesture
eyes
/ laughing / bodies
without
definition
going
where?
&
thought wrangling
against
the
blue vault /
(everything
from
what's
for tea?
to
astro physics
&
wittgenstein
on a
good day
in
his director’s chair
by
the Irish sea)
&
dirt too
unsound
for
footfall
or a
stand
for
or against
best
to give up
the
quest
just
connect
the
dots
on
the infinite map
from
now to next
(pass
on before)
some
will tell you
I
once ran mad
with
desire /
like
a ghost on fire
&
that
a
knowing
beyond
belief
on
the day I got married
in
the morning
I
left the windsor
walking
down
collins
st
I
saw
four
people
I
knew
one
from
each
decade
of
my
life
LeAnn
when
God
made
you
he
decided
he
wanted
to
sing
I
tried many times
to stop
smoking
(countless
really)
& drinking
I was so hooked
in
it seemed
impossible
but I stopped
smoking
& drinking
& I returned
to being
someone
I remember
having
been
&
at 72 yrs
I thought to
stop
writing
smoking
(countless
really)
& drinking
I was so hooked
in
it seemed
impossible
but I stopped
smoking
& drinking
& I returned
to being
someone
I remember
having
been
&
at 72 yrs
I thought to
stop
writing
poetry
& philosophy
been at it
since I was
a kid
but I started
to get
sick
& found
I was losing
myself
nothing
dramatic
just a subtle
vanishing
on the inside
& so
I stopped
trying
to stop
& started
& philosophy
been at it
since I was
a kid
but I started
to get
sick
& found
I was losing
myself
nothing
dramatic
just a subtle
vanishing
on the inside
& so
I stopped
trying
to stop
& started
up
again
health
again
health
reasons
you could
say
meta
&
physical
you could
say
meta
&
physical
AI /
no hands / no minds
need line up
nothing to be done
Godot is here
a system
(mathematical)
decides
way back
in itself / yes
there were & are
instigators
long lost dreamers
& hard arsed
calculators
less & less bodies
required
as the system
thinks for itself
('thinking'
is the program
programming
itself)
in the light of day
it's the overlay
of games
you cannot
not be a player
you have a number
& a sequence
need line up
nothing to be done
Godot is here
a system
(mathematical)
decides
way back
in itself / yes
there were & are
instigators
long lost dreamers
& hard arsed
calculators
less & less bodies
required
as the system
thinks for itself
('thinking'
is the program
programming
itself)
in the light of day
it's the overlay
of games
you cannot
not be a player
you have a number
& a sequence
in the grid
schrodinger’s cat
dead or alive
has been buried
hearts & souls
in the underworld
hearts & souls
in the underworld
outdated modes
shrinking
to points
against
the wave
shrinking
to points
against
the wave
recognition
how do you
recognize
something
that doesn't
exist?
& if you think
you can
aren't you just
deluding
yourself
and trying
to delude
everyone else
& if the idea is
that this state
that does not
exist
should exist
ok
isn't that up to
the palestinians
recognize
something
that doesn't
exist?
& if you think
you can
aren't you just
deluding
yourself
and trying
to delude
everyone else
& if the idea is
that this state
that does not
exist
should exist
ok
isn't that up to
the palestinians
to
declare
to
get themselves
sorted
out
&
organized
&
to show
they
can hold
their
claim
with
or without
support
from
others?
.
in the meantime
the killing
& the destruction
goes on
unabated /
as the pretenders
& the frauds
pronounce
to the world
their hollow
declaration
there is no right
or true idea or
action
that holds for all
perceptions
in all circumstances
we can only
conceive & act
in ignorance or
pretension /
action
that holds for all
perceptions
in all circumstances
we can only
conceive & act
in ignorance or
pretension /
so
these days
I read
to cover
the space of time
it's emptiness
it's nothingness
& yes
the fact is
I think
& act
for the same
reason
my life
at base
a practise
of
distraction
to cover
the space of time
it's emptiness
it's nothingness
& yes
the fact is
I think
& act
for the same
reason
my life
at base
a practise
of
distraction
I float in ideas of
how
/
& I won't even try
to say what
you see there is no
history of
only a moment
held /
its content
the possibility
of the next
thought
through the green
/
& I won't even try
to say what
you see there is no
history of
only a moment
held /
its content
the possibility
of the next
thought
through the green
door
& yes
I can run with the best
of them
into the supposed
depths
of knowing
& the stones
in the sidewalk
have nothing
to say
I live in a poverty
of words
& I know
that even in
a magnificence
& yes
I can run with the best
of them
into the supposed
depths
of knowing
& the stones
in the sidewalk
have nothing
to say
I live in a poverty
of words
& I know
that even in
a magnificence
the
endeavour
is hopeless
& God is
the laughing child
should be
enough /
rest
among the statues
in the gold / green
trees
the sun
does its work
regardless
is hopeless
& God is
the laughing child
should be
enough /
rest
among the statues
in the gold / green
trees
the sun
does its work
regardless
the
disrupter
playing a game of chance
unpredictability
against the lords
of order & process
who can say
what the result could be?
either way
(does anyone know
what the goal is?)
in the end
a deductive argument
will be put
& victory celebrated
regardless
all play against
the unknown
& for a moment
of the heart / of the mind
pretend its defeat
this is how we go
unpredictability
against the lords
of order & process
who can say
what the result could be?
either way
(does anyone know
what the goal is?)
in the end
a deductive argument
will be put
& victory celebrated
regardless
all play against
the unknown
& for a moment
of the heart / of the mind
pretend its defeat
this is how we go
dreamless in the grey world
the last shot will never be fired
the girl with blue hair prays to her phone
the echo of history is silenced in daylight
the tress are breathing the sky
God in his rags sleeps in a doorway
the sea knows the truth has no depth
trails of data reproduce endlessly
the girl with blue hair prays to her phone
the echo of history is silenced in daylight
the tress are breathing the sky
God in his rags sleeps in a doorway
the sea knows the truth has no depth
trails of data reproduce endlessly
foster st
I live in a space of family
gone /
they are quiet gentle
ghosts
& the secrets
they held
I respect
I never asked
& I was never
told
gone /
they are quiet gentle
ghosts
& the secrets
they held
I respect
I never asked
& I was never
told
it (whatever) happens
whenever
wherever
end of story /
but who can leave it
at that?
so /
will you chase the chain
back to
in
fin
it
y
(illusion)
or shout out
wherever
end of story /
but who can leave it
at that?
so /
will you chase the chain
back to
in
fin
it
y
(illusion)
or shout out
to the black
unknown
as if
there's
a
future
?
time as /
conscious
ness
desperate
for a
place to stop
(space
too much
of it
unknown
as if
there's
a
future
?
time as /
conscious
ness
desperate
for a
place to stop
(space
too much
of it
if you want to
know)
no fixed point
despite your eyes
(focus)
& boots
planted firm
in the dirt
(hands on hips)
blinding sun
right through
your brain
what is the point?
nothing to say /
hands /
(only hands
are left)
oak trees watch
in disbelief
the knowing of
eternity
is the ground
we stand on
the illusion is a wide expanse
the
reality
is
conceptually narrow
with
a narrow man
in
charge
where
thought is
the
latest prejudice /
brow
beaten into
orthodoxy
by
so called
progressives
what's
left of the left
advertising
& flogging
the
latest fashionable
cause
of
the disenchanted
there
is no
rational
discussion
no
one knows
how
to do it
any
divergent opinion
shouted
down
as
of another time
or
as simply mad
language
/
communication
has
been cut down
to
an ms.
with
no question
no doubt
no
uncertainty
people
have become
the
sum of their tweets
&
they worry about
artificial
intelligence
as
if
it’s
the threat
acland st / houtgracht st
in bright sunshine
walking down acland st
I am a metaphysical complex
(a mode in an infinite
configuration?)
hat coat & shoes
jude is packing for paris
amsterdam the hague
& she will walk the streets
of the reprobate jew
& lens grinder
I am a metaphysical complex
(a mode in an infinite
configuration?)
hat coat & shoes
jude is packing for paris
amsterdam the hague
& she will walk the streets
of the reprobate jew
& lens grinder
down here
it looks like
dogs
have replaced
babies
dogs
have replaced
babies
/ the other
body / consciousness /
connections
fragile links
to unknown realities
words
echoes of desire
& touch
the exploration
of
uncertain ground
communion
a failed hope
we never
forsake
other worlds
colliding
sunshine
or rain
connections
fragile links
to unknown realities
words
echoes of desire
& touch
the exploration
of
uncertain ground
communion
a failed hope
we never
forsake
other worlds
colliding
sunshine
or rain
as to ©
forget about it
no body
owns
anything
possession is
from a lost age
that slipped away
while you were
hard at it
nothing & no one
holds
the idea
once
it
escapes
anais
was
not beautiful
she was young /
& men to play with
thighs
like distracted gods
that have no need
eyes in eyes
the joyous blindness
lovers crave
& arms embrace
the great pretence
of meaning
found & lost in words
everything written
everything said
she was young /
& men to play with
thighs
like distracted gods
that have no need
eyes in eyes
the joyous blindness
lovers crave
& arms embrace
the great pretence
of meaning
found & lost in words
everything written
everything said
in
the end
a waste land
of scattered syntax
& passion destroys
the house
a waste land
of scattered syntax
& passion destroys
the house
so
everything I do has meaning
& there is light
hard it is to believe
it will stop
you can say in time
& all these magnificent
& complex realities
histories
of
fellow travellers
will come to this
the beauty dies
& there is light
hard it is to believe
it will stop
you can say in time
& all these magnificent
& complex realities
histories
of
fellow travellers
will come to this
the beauty dies
she /
a wave
of spring
sunshine
a warm
flowing
thought
with no
intention
born
he /
enveloped
will never
grasp
never hold
though
always
touched
& always
held
of spring
sunshine
a warm
flowing
thought
with no
intention
born
he /
enveloped
will never
grasp
never hold
though
always
touched
& always
held
off
to get a banjo
so
geometry
is innate /
to the soul
the brain
the cell
conception
& perception
just look around
every construction
every build
how else
do you think?
only the trees
are a hold out
nature never got
the memo
it just runs wild
& as for
non-euclidean
well that's just
make up
like quanta
new games
to play
(let's play God
& see it
as he might)
& of
is innate /
to the soul
the brain
the cell
conception
& perception
just look around
every construction
every build
how else
do you think?
only the trees
are a hold out
nature never got
the memo
it just runs wild
& as for
non-euclidean
well that's just
make up
like quanta
new games
to play
(let's play God
& see it
as he might)
& of
love
& hate
pain & pleasure
what shape
structure
order?
pain & pleasure
what shape
structure
order?
&
consciousness
defying
&
consciousness
embracing
the uncertainty
principle
rules the heart
the uncertainty
principle
rules the heart
its
logic
the
mystery
of
our days
melbourne
today
uni students
on the tram
talk happily
openly
with no pretension
they have no idea
what time
will deliver them to
& the young working men
crossing the street
in anxious hope
for what?
they don't know
across from me
a young working
woman
quite beautiful
dressed stylishly
her face blank cold
there is a dark cloud
in her head
she thinks
won't lift
a young man
his arms flailing
jumping
all over the street
on the tram
talk happily
openly
with no pretension
they have no idea
what time
will deliver them to
& the young working men
crossing the street
in anxious hope
for what?
they don't know
across from me
a young working
woman
quite beautiful
dressed stylishly
her face blank cold
there is a dark cloud
in her head
she thinks
won't lift
a young man
his arms flailing
jumping
all over the street
his lunatic smile
he has nothing
has no one
& nowhere to go
chances are
when they get it
together
he will be slotted
& crunched
the old ones
resilient & cautious
in their eyes
you see the question
how did it come
to this?
he has nothing
has no one
& nowhere to go
chances are
when they get it
together
he will be slotted
& crunched
the old ones
resilient & cautious
in their eyes
you see the question
how did it come
to this?
the george
I lived there in the late '80's
I think of it now
as st kilda's answer
to gormenghast
in the lobby was a cage
& in the cage was a gorilla
named 'the turk'
300 lbs of pain ready to go
if he didn't know you
you didn't pass
& if someone
came looking for you
they didn't pass
the place was a hideout
the cops came
about once a week
to check the registry
a page of 'john smiths'
when I checked in
I gave the manager $50
for the room
& my real name
I never got a receipt
the manager michael
was in his mid-twenties
son of the owner
he lived upstairs
I think of it now
as st kilda's answer
to gormenghast
in the lobby was a cage
& in the cage was a gorilla
named 'the turk'
300 lbs of pain ready to go
if he didn't know you
you didn't pass
& if someone
came looking for you
they didn't pass
the place was a hideout
the cops came
about once a week
to check the registry
a page of 'john smiths'
when I checked in
I gave the manager $50
for the room
& my real name
I never got a receipt
the manager michael
was in his mid-twenties
son of the owner
he lived upstairs
he came across
as someone
who’d had everything
given to him
he was a cheerful guy
his apartment
was well appointed
& stylishly decorated
with all the mod cons
& it felt like
he & his apartment
should be
somewhere else
one night I heard
the turk banging
on a door
'pay up your rent buggsie
or I'll break your legs'
every week after that
I gave the manager
a cheque for $50
I figured that way
I'd at least have
the cheque stubs
if the turk came knocking
none of those checks
ever got cashed
buggsie was a little poof
who every now & again
would sport eye shadow
& lipstick
he never seemed
to have a partner
his apartment
was well appointed
& stylishly decorated
with all the mod cons
& it felt like
he & his apartment
should be
somewhere else
one night I heard
the turk banging
on a door
'pay up your rent buggsie
or I'll break your legs'
every week after that
I gave the manager
a cheque for $50
I figured that way
I'd at least have
the cheque stubs
if the turk came knocking
none of those checks
ever got cashed
buggsie was a little poof
who every now & again
would sport eye shadow
& lipstick
he never seemed
to have a partner
I ran into this girl
at the bottom bar
of the espy
of the espy
she said she lived
at the george
& she told me
she often came down
to my room
when I was at work
& spent the afternoon
there
I didn't ask why
I lived there
for well over a year
& never saw anyone
except the manager
buggsie & the turk
& that girl
on that one occasion
I loved the place
the anonymity
the emptiness
up on the 4th floor
there were large apartments
that had once been grand
now trashed
panoramic views
over melbourne
in the summer
I would go up there
spend the evening
& sometimes
even sleep there
even sleep there
the george had a ballroom
& like the rest of the place
it was in disrepair
& like the rest of the place
it was in disrepair
on its walls & ceiling
were the remains
of beautiful artworks
paintings & drawings
now faded & peeling
the public bar
was a blood house
I was there one night
when a bloke got shot
down below ground
was the snake pit bar
inhabited by
prostitutes junkies
drunks transsexuals
& criminals
I always felt welcome
down there
were the remains
of beautiful artworks
paintings & drawings
now faded & peeling
the public bar
was a blood house
I was there one night
when a bloke got shot
down below ground
was the snake pit bar
inhabited by
prostitutes junkies
drunks transsexuals
& criminals
I always felt welcome
down there
the cops left it alone
but if they were looking
for anyone
their first stop
was the pit
I reckon
it was the safest place
in st kilda
one morning the turk
knocked on my door
I reckon
it was the safest place
in st kilda
one morning the turk
knocked on my door
by this time
we were sort of mates
we were sort of mates
he said
the hotel was closed
had been
for two weeks
they forgot to tell me
the cops shut it down
claiming it was
a money laundering
& drug running operation
I read later
that the liquor commissioner
had said that a liquor licence
would never again be given to
'that evil piece of earth'
I shook hands with the turk
and then packed my trunk
as I was hauling it
down the stairs
I looked up
& there was the magnificent
stained glass window
of st george & the dragon
& I wondered as I left
how long that would last
I headed down to
the gatwick
the hotel was closed
had been
for two weeks
they forgot to tell me
the cops shut it down
claiming it was
a money laundering
& drug running operation
I read later
that the liquor commissioner
had said that a liquor licence
would never again be given to
'that evil piece of earth'
I shook hands with the turk
and then packed my trunk
as I was hauling it
down the stairs
I looked up
& there was the magnificent
stained glass window
of st george & the dragon
& I wondered as I left
how long that would last
I headed down to
the gatwick
young women
all
over the place
in their active wear
gear
in their active wear
gear
running
/ walking
uninhibited
confident
strong
a
thing of beauty
here
it is
long
hand the ink & the glide
the mont blanc determination
of letters
that cannot not be
well formed in a deep black
flow
the hand an instrument
of the pen
the mont blanc determination
of letters
that cannot not be
well formed in a deep black
flow
the hand an instrument
of the pen
(meisterstuck)
& the brain
it seems has little choice
but to play along
for a rhythmic ride
destination unknown
as if the world must be
pictured & sculptured
carefully in a classic order
of beauty & form /
& the brain
it seems has little choice
but to play along
for a rhythmic ride
destination unknown
as if the world must be
pictured & sculptured
carefully in a classic order
of beauty & form /
an ancient engraving
something everlasting
if only on the fragility
of paper & time
yes a rewriting you might
say against
the chaos of experience
its disconnected
ness
of impressions
thoughts emotions
actions of the heart
& hand
something everlasting
if only on the fragility
of paper & time
yes a rewriting you might
say against
the chaos of experience
its disconnected
ness
of impressions
thoughts emotions
actions of the heart
& hand
& the mind running from one
moment to the next lost
yet determined
in search of a perfect
script
moment to the next lost
yet determined
in search of a perfect
script
meta
rant: the state of play
it's a sweep / a curve across / into
nothing /
& velocity in the absolute
(reality without consciousness)
we imagine we can picture /
calculate
(newton)
works well beneath the stars
standing in a field
on your own two feet
not every artist can think /
can draw
straight
& philosophers & drunks
turning the world upside down
& inside out
with a laugh
perspective always behind
the screen /
in the depths of thought & things
I would say
& when revealed / unleashed
cannot be contained /
cannot be denied
so relativity becomes pay dirt
(albert)
nothing /
& velocity in the absolute
(reality without consciousness)
we imagine we can picture /
calculate
(newton)
works well beneath the stars
standing in a field
on your own two feet
not every artist can think /
can draw
straight
& philosophers & drunks
turning the world upside down
& inside out
with a laugh
perspective always behind
the screen /
in the depths of thought & things
I would say
& when revealed / unleashed
cannot be contained /
cannot be denied
so relativity becomes pay dirt
(albert)
quanta jumping
is the hard ground
& tell that to the cat
(schrödinger's)
uncertainty at the heart
abstract = art
deviants miscreants mad men
& wild women /
a constant threat to canvas
stone & public artifice
the whole rigmarole
from top to bottom
poetry
& the given / veridical reality
the shape of things in the arrow
of time
you know exactly what I mean
becomes
alternative
parallel
blue hearts
a river of sorrow runs
interminable
& blue hearts flow
around this world
the gentle ones
who take on the pain
of this reality
in words & song & music
dreaming in pictures
painted & carved
of lost places
ancient beings
& faces marked
with the anguish
of time's relentless
question
interminable
& blue hearts flow
around this world
the gentle ones
who take on the pain
of this reality
in words & song & music
dreaming in pictures
painted & carved
of lost places
ancient beings
& faces marked
with the anguish
of time's relentless
question
‘this’
behind the thunder
you can hear the gods laughing
as if a word a thought an action
has any purchase in time's sweep
destruction / creation
try to fix a point of difference
& you fall straight into eternity
at another time
I would have run for the tram
when the energy was bright
too much for body & mind to hold
today I wait in peace to cross the road
still believing with no foundation
in this reality of vision sound & solidity
many despair & turn black
is it possible to forget & be free of any truth?
some say the mad do it but I think not
should I turn my gaze inward
& propose a knowledge of myself?
I have to say I am beyond that pretence
I don't know & have given up
the quest to say who or what
as if a word a thought an action
has any purchase in time's sweep
destruction / creation
try to fix a point of difference
& you fall straight into eternity
at another time
I would have run for the tram
when the energy was bright
too much for body & mind to hold
today I wait in peace to cross the road
still believing with no foundation
in this reality of vision sound & solidity
many despair & turn black
is it possible to forget & be free of any truth?
some say the mad do it but I think not
should I turn my gaze inward
& propose a knowledge of myself?
I have to say I am beyond that pretence
I don't know & have given up
the quest to say who or what
I am /
I stand at the tram stop waiting
open to any & all description
you can begin with
this
I stand at the tram stop waiting
open to any & all description
you can begin with
this
james watson 97 is dead or is he?
his twisted strands
no longer in focus
have receded
into background detail
in the ever changing template
of the new
no longer in focus
have receded
into background detail
in the ever changing template
of the new
as to /
the history of the heart
we are victims
to the ever changing
valuations of
memory
no fixed point
to embrace
despite the desperate
search for /
just a fall back
to
uncertainty
all its pain & promise
the world as is /
I walk out to the day
we are victims
to the ever changing
valuations of
memory
no fixed point
to embrace
despite the desperate
search for /
just a fall back
to
uncertainty
all its pain & promise
the world as is /
I walk out to the day
so
I'm at the tram stop
on carlisle
this guy sidles up
& stands facing me
early 20's
t-shirt / track pants
he looks disorientated
with nowhere to go
doesn't appear to be
waiting for a tram
I figure mentally ill
he's not looking directly
at me
just shuffling his feet
& I start thinking
what would I do
if he had a knife?
I move slightly to my right
& as I'm watching him
he turns
& sticking out
of his back pocket
is a knife
I think
I'm at the tram stop
on carlisle
this guy sidles up
& stands facing me
early 20's
t-shirt / track pants
he looks disorientated
with nowhere to go
doesn't appear to be
waiting for a tram
I figure mentally ill
he's not looking directly
at me
just shuffling his feet
& I start thinking
what would I do
if he had a knife?
I move slightly to my right
& as I'm watching him
he turns
& sticking out
of his back pocket
is a knife
I think
I can call the cops
they’d be here straightaway
but if I did
& he got frightened
& pulled out his knife
there is a fair chance
they'd shoot him
so I did nothing
& waited
he moved away
towards the intersection
crossed the street
& headed down barkly
& pulled out his knife
there is a fair chance
they'd shoot him
so I did nothing
& waited
he moved away
towards the intersection
crossed the street
& headed down barkly
no.96 to st. kilda beach
stepping
on
to
the
tram
a
blonde
tanned
natural
beauty
in
red
lycra
active
wear
her
beautiful
sea
blue
eyes
on
to
the
tram
a
blonde
tanned
natural
beauty
in
red
lycra
active
wear
her
beautiful
sea
blue
eyes
& I said
this notion of 'equality'
comes from mathematics
2 + 2 = 4
2 + 2 equals 4
means that the left side of the equals sign
can be substituted for the right side
& vice versa
we all understand that
we can all see that
equality is substitution
human beings cannot be substituted
for each other
each one is unique
& so there is no equality between individuals
& for that matter
no inequality
what we have is difference
difference in a common humanity
and as to social & economic difference
our focus should be on common wealth
for it is in building common wealth
in the natural & social environment
in education health employment & housing
that everyone is lifted up
this notion of 'equality'
comes from mathematics
2 + 2 = 4
2 + 2 equals 4
means that the left side of the equals sign
can be substituted for the right side
& vice versa
we all understand that
we can all see that
equality is substitution
human beings cannot be substituted
for each other
each one is unique
& so there is no equality between individuals
& for that matter
no inequality
what we have is difference
difference in a common humanity
and as to social & economic difference
our focus should be on common wealth
for it is in building common wealth
in the natural & social environment
in education health employment & housing
that everyone is lifted up
that everyone is given a solid base to work from
regardless of difference
november 11
I ring sally ann to wish her happy birthday
she says
her birthday is somewhat overshadowed
by the 50th anniversary of the whitlam dismissal
yeah your birthday remembrance day & the hanging of ned kelly
she asks what I think about the dismissal
I tell her
I think whitlam was out manoeuvred
but that it suited him to go down as the thwarted labour hero
she says
her birthday is somewhat overshadowed
by the 50th anniversary of the whitlam dismissal
yeah your birthday remembrance day & the hanging of ned kelly
she asks what I think about the dismissal
I tell her
I think whitlam was out manoeuvred
but that it suited him to go down as the thwarted labour hero
rather than face an election he would lose
& I think that if he had informed his senate colleagues
that they'd been sacked
they could have withdrawn the supply bill
& foiled the coup
instead he went back to the lodge & had a steak dinner
told no one
& also
when labour got back into power
there was no move on their part
to codify the reserve powers
so you would have to say they kept it as an option
still in all it was a bad day
a bad day to give up smoking & drinking
& I think that if he had informed his senate colleagues
that they'd been sacked
they could have withdrawn the supply bill
& foiled the coup
instead he went back to the lodge & had a steak dinner
told no one
& also
when labour got back into power
there was no move on their part
to codify the reserve powers
so you would have to say they kept it as an option
still in all it was a bad day
a bad day to give up smoking & drinking
sal laughs
she says
she went to the wheeler centre last night
to listen to helen garner on the mushroom case
& asks if I remember the killer from uni high
I say she was a student when I was teaching
but no I don't recall her
sal says
strange they never used the insanity defence
yeah
you would think that killing three members of your family & trying to kill another
pretty much falls under the category of 'insane'
but apparently not
I hear footsteps & the joyous sound of an excited little boy
lillybelle & hugh have just come through the door
sal says that's hugh
her 4 yr old grandson
she says
he's the spitting image of bill at that age
& when she sees him
she feels like she's returning to another time
hugh has a pot plant
for her
she says
she went to the wheeler centre last night
to listen to helen garner on the mushroom case
& asks if I remember the killer from uni high
I say she was a student when I was teaching
but no I don't recall her
sal says
strange they never used the insanity defence
yeah
you would think that killing three members of your family & trying to kill another
pretty much falls under the category of 'insane'
but apparently not
I hear footsteps & the joyous sound of an excited little boy
lillybelle & hugh have just come through the door
sal says that's hugh
her 4 yr old grandson
she says
he's the spitting image of bill at that age
& when she sees him
she feels like she's returning to another time
hugh has a pot plant
for her
ned
went
metal
out to face /
the horror
(emptiness)
rifle steel
metal
out to face /
the horror
(emptiness)
rifle steel
unforgiving
bush
eyes
it's just time
space
for possible
action
or inaction
& I am
in the middle
here
never sure
for possible
action
or inaction
& I am
in the middle
here
never sure
whether
&
what
to do
or
what
to do
or
not
p.s.
the excluded middle
is a logical fiction
13.09
outonalimb
sheranbackwards
towheretherewasnospace
left
weopen&shutdoorsoftime
thereisnomystery
thelineisacurve
outoffocusthe
point
thewholeofrealityrushesto
foldinginto
u
=
abundance
sheranbackwards
towheretherewasnospace
left
weopen&shutdoorsoftime
thereisnomystery
thelineisacurve
outoffocusthe
point
thewholeofrealityrushesto
foldinginto
u
=
abundance
passing the espy
so there were those
who left
out of time
who left
out of time
before their time
I'm thinking of
bottom bar guys
& girls
I'm thinking of
bottom bar guys
& girls
I ran with
the world is still here
& so am I
what was their loss?
only today's
sunshine
the world is still here
& so am I
what was their loss?
only today's
sunshine
one thing has changed
I don't think anything I say
has any importance
any significance
nevertheless I have my say
& my words just come & go
fractured / stumbling
out of place / out of sync
lost & disconnected
in the swirling winds
of syntax
has any importance
any significance
nevertheless I have my say
& my words just come & go
fractured / stumbling
out of place / out of sync
lost & disconnected
in the swirling winds
of syntax
waiting for k
this jacket encloses
defines
a body encloses
defines
these veins enclose
& define
a cell encloses
defines
what
defines
a body encloses
defines
these veins enclose
& define
a cell encloses
defines
what
on a tram to the city
so /
different people
like that girl in black
different people
like that girl in black
black
hair / black glasses
there are steps
from
her
head
out to
there are steps
from
her
head
out to
the grey & green
today /
I can't snag a story
a narrative that defies
the absurdity of
today /
I can't snag a story
a narrative that defies
the absurdity of
any
& all
of my actions
at any time or place
I will not sink /
there is geometry
out there
& substance
of my actions
at any time or place
I will not sink /
there is geometry
out there
& substance
right
here
/
& I will hold off
the question
for now
& I will hold off
the question
for now
I
guess I owe it all to pamela brown
(& thanks also to tom t hall)
cafe sport
& I rambled a few first lines
on the back inside cover
that collection of gems
(death empty st
got a start)
jude in the garden
handing me her poem
& asking me
if it was any good
I was blown away
(a note to the bottom bar)
& mother I'm rooted
those girls
turning form on its head
& going in hard
legs & all
kerry loughrey
performing impromptu
by the fire place
at the bottom bar
what a star
antigone kefala
immigrant / alien
her eyes on the detail
& its uncertainty
& I rambled a few first lines
on the back inside cover
that collection of gems
(death empty st
got a start)
jude in the garden
handing me her poem
& asking me
if it was any good
I was blown away
(a note to the bottom bar)
& mother I'm rooted
those girls
turning form on its head
& going in hard
legs & all
kerry loughrey
performing impromptu
by the fire place
at the bottom bar
what a star
antigone kefala
immigrant / alien
her eyes on the detail
& its uncertainty
right up to
dropbear
& evelyn araluen
her hard language
dreaming
nailed it to the page
the best
kick arse
aussie
poet
girls
night tram to st kilda beach
there's this young guy mid-twenties stylishly
dressed who gets on the tram & immediately goes & stands by the
window opens it & sticks his head out
I've seen him do it three or four times
tonight he got on & because the tram was crowded he couldn't get to a window
he moved hurriedly to the door in a panic gasping for breath
so I have come to think
you can stay on the surface & explore
the world (external)
space & time / your life
as it presents
(phenomena)
or /
the world (external)
space & time / your life
as it presents
(phenomena)
or /
go below & dig deeper
ramble in the geography
of the inner life
worlds within worlds
alternative ways of seeing
whatever you imagine
(noumena)
either way you look at it
it's really the same question
what's there?
your next step or your next thought
will be an answer
ramble in the geography
of the inner life
worlds within worlds
alternative ways of seeing
whatever you imagine
(noumena)
either way you look at it
it's really the same question
what's there?
your next step or your next thought
will be an answer
descartes'
pineal gland /
(still
the question)
spinoza's
toss of a coin
(God always wins)
& the australian heresy
she'll be right
(God always wins)
& the australian heresy
she'll be right
so
I'm
sitting on a bench
in the state library
reading antigone kefala's
poetry
on the same bench
is a chinese guy
headphones
listening to music
his legs shaking
about five poems in
it was starting
to get to me
the constant shaking
& after about
in the state library
reading antigone kefala's
poetry
on the same bench
is a chinese guy
headphones
listening to music
his legs shaking
about five poems in
it was starting
to get to me
the constant shaking
& after about
20
minutes of this
I wanted to
break his legs
torture him
& I'm thinking of
john wesley harding
who shot a guy
for snoring
I wanted to
break his legs
torture him
& I'm thinking of
john wesley harding
who shot a guy
for snoring
I
closed the book
& headed out
at the tram stop
two teenage girls
in bikinis
it's 12 degrees
& headed out
at the tram stop
two teenage girls
in bikinis
it's 12 degrees
& a bitter wind
ask me how to get to
southern cross station
I give them directions
& with a thank you
& a smile
they head off
update
I was driven for so long
& then found it was gone
the energy or the need /
a metaphysical awakening
slow unexpected & unwanted
how can there be any relief?
days of detail /
no longer to be flown over
endurance remains
& passion lost to time
a ghost to haunt
& then found it was gone
the energy or the need /
a metaphysical awakening
slow unexpected & unwanted
how can there be any relief?
days of detail /
no longer to be flown over
endurance remains
& passion lost to time
a ghost to haunt
sitting in acland st
flying off a word
into the invisible
language
of stone & leaf
the days flowing past
in auburn & green
there is order & process
& bodies in motion
nothing is fixed
at best a balance
behind each thought
a magic of physics
& beyond this
nothing to see
into the invisible
language
of stone & leaf
the days flowing past
in auburn & green
there is order & process
& bodies in motion
nothing is fixed
at best a balance
behind each thought
a magic of physics
& beyond this
nothing to see
meta days
a fragile glass weaving
this existence & being
amongst the stone effigies
wandering
flesh of body & ground of footfall
no consolation
against an immensity beyond
grasping
this existence & being
amongst the stone effigies
wandering
flesh of body & ground of footfall
no consolation
against an immensity beyond
grasping
helen
garner
says
she'll never be a poet
her book
how to end a story
is
one joyous
magnificent
poem
she'll never be a poet
her book
how to end a story
is
one joyous
magnificent
poem
so it's just the old switcheroo
prose to poetry
poetry to prose
lovers to haters
pain to joy
sunshine to rain
& no one has
a fix on it
though artists know
the play
& create
with the uncertainty
there are hard heads
who pretend a defiance
to this state of affairs
of no foundation
to the
next
step
nothing stable
at the back of it all
plato
ran hard against
this reality
relegated it
to a shadow world
& thought the real deal
eternal unchanging
poetry to prose
lovers to haters
pain to joy
sunshine to rain
& no one has
a fix on it
though artists know
the play
& create
with the uncertainty
there are hard heads
who pretend a defiance
to this state of affairs
of no foundation
to the
next
step
nothing stable
at the back of it all
plato
ran hard against
this reality
relegated it
to a shadow world
& thought the real deal
eternal unchanging
forms
behind the film
of experience
reflected in
the constant change
heraclitus
was prepared
to leave it
as is
behind the film
of experience
reflected in
the constant change
heraclitus
was prepared
to leave it
as is
country
in a
green world of farming fields & the brown / black tracks though rolling
hills under
clouds every colour of white slow dancing in an azure sky that reaches back in
space & time to no colour & no calculation
the garden
I cleaned up after
yesterday
in the garden
a world of
hard vines / grass
& weeds
buried deep
obstinate against
the force of
invading hands
like a mind
shut
to argument
or entreaty
& what is left
after the endeavour
to clear & shape?
a quiet devastation
of supposed
order
& in the underworld
in the depths
a silent
inviolable promise
to undo
& return the surface
yesterday
in the garden
a world of
hard vines / grass
& weeds
buried deep
obstinate against
the force of
invading hands
like a mind
shut
to argument
or entreaty
& what is left
after the endeavour
to clear & shape?
a quiet devastation
of supposed
order
& in the underworld
in the depths
a silent
inviolable promise
to undo
& return the surface
to
chaos
chaos
I love
the sound
of
kids
at play
in the park
across
from
us
the sound
of
magpies
arguing
early
morning
of
kids
at play
in the park
across
from
us
the sound
of
magpies
arguing
early
morning
out on our
lawn
& the sound
of jude's
laughter
anywhere
any time
robert
coming down
the neighbour's drive
I see an old bloke opposite
working in his garden
& think I'll ask him
his head was in some bushes
& I said
excuse me I'm greg
from number 3
got a fencing issue
with the people across the road
there's no-one there
I was just wondering
if you knew what's going on
over there
he looked up & said
I'm robert
they're away fruit picking
they should be back next month
ok thanks
hey you've got a nice place here
robert
thanks yeah I built it myself
gettin' ready to sell it
too old for it now
just built my daughter a home
in bena
I'm a builder
but that'll be my last one
so the people across the road?
they're vietnamese
fruit pickers & druggies
when they're here
you'll hear them early in the morning
out on the street
talking at the top of their voices
my bedroom's in the front there
I come out & tell him
to fuck off
my wife
my second wife
is vietnamese
she goes over & talks to 'em
me
I wouldn't piss on 'em
so were you always in the building
game?
no military
vietnam war two tours
& then the iraq war
& afghanistan
wanted to go back to afghanistan
but they wouldn't let me
forced me out
& then my wife
is vietnamese
she goes over & talks to 'em
me
I wouldn't piss on 'em
so were you always in the building
game?
no military
vietnam war two tours
& then the iraq war
& afghanistan
wanted to go back to afghanistan
but they wouldn't let me
forced me out
& then my wife
my first wife
died
& I lost it
died
& I lost it
was working on a building site
on collins st
on collins st
decided to end it all
jumped from the 5th floor
landed in a skip full of cardboard
so
not your time to go hey?
yeah fuck it
well I'm glad you’re still here
he started packing up his tools
I’ll leave ya to it robert
good to meet you
& good to talk with you
& good luck with the house sale
thanks greg
when they come back
I'll come round & let you know
good to meet you
& good to talk with you
& good luck with the house sale
thanks greg
when they come back
I'll come round & let you know
the broken dreams
reconstitute
there is no death
time wails
like a 3 yr old
& space
is doing 300 pushups
on the forecourt
old poets stuck
in their poems
become wordless
the big payoff
strange people
in clothes of snow
red legs
& red walking sticks
gasp in horror
there is a door
to nowhere
(solid oak)
everyone is knocking
figures roaming about
on a plane of grey stone
as if there is a reason
any machine
can run off a verse
& win the prize
the state affairs
reconstitute
there is no death
time wails
like a 3 yr old
& space
is doing 300 pushups
on the forecourt
old poets stuck
in their poems
become wordless
the big payoff
strange people
in clothes of snow
red legs
& red walking sticks
gasp in horror
there is a door
to nowhere
(solid oak)
everyone is knocking
figures roaming about
on a plane of grey stone
as if there is a reason
any machine
can run off a verse
& win the prize
the state affairs
is impossible to say
platitudes reign
a young girl
becomes a statue
looks up
platitudes reign
a young girl
becomes a statue
looks up
phil edwards
his life
a passionate life
his artistry & integrity
his deep love
of rhonda
his unfailing loyalty
to his friends
& his irrepressible
enthusiasm
for the moment
a life that cannot be
exhausted by word
or thought
has passed
gracefully & silently
in the afternoon sun
fragments of his history
will live on
in the memories
& dreams
of those
who knew him
& those
who loved him
vale phil
a passionate life
his artistry & integrity
his deep love
of rhonda
his unfailing loyalty
to his friends
& his irrepressible
enthusiasm
for the moment
a life that cannot be
exhausted by word
or thought
has passed
gracefully & silently
in the afternoon sun
fragments of his history
will live on
in the memories
& dreams
of those
who knew him
& those
who loved him
vale phil
logic
the
bones
of
of
discourse
perception
conception
we bulk up
with
rhetoric
& pretension
any proposal
is valid
& open
to question
critical thinking
action
& method
in the face
of
uncertainty
perception
conception
we bulk up
with
rhetoric
& pretension
any proposal
is valid
& open
to question
critical thinking
action
& method
in the face
of
uncertainty
I come with a lightness
on
this day of sun
ever amazed at the order
the world as it presents
& are there those who
only see this?
disruptions yes
but does it not return?
they will say
& why a search
for a reality beneath
& beyond?
atoms & gods
as if
ever amazed at the order
the world as it presents
& are there those who
only see this?
disruptions yes
but does it not return?
they will say
& why a search
for a reality beneath
& beyond?
atoms & gods
as if
there
is
explanation
explanation
for this here
now
(I think
nothing holds
against
the unknown
if you can get to it)
& is this reality
(I think
nothing holds
against
the unknown
if you can get to it)
& is this reality
just
motion & rest
in time?
& even this
might
be too much
to say
our lives are lives
of language
the poetry of
the next step
the last thought
made flesh
a net of propositions
ever changing
ever expanding
& there is no
escape
no falling through
empty spaces
to say
our lives are lives
of language
the poetry of
the next step
the last thought
made flesh
a net of propositions
ever changing
ever expanding
& there is no
escape
no falling through
empty spaces
yes
in
the netting
of
syntax
but the knots
are tight
can you bounce along
or are you just
waiting
to be bounced?
on this day of sun
but the knots
are tight
can you bounce along
or are you just
waiting
to be bounced?
on this day of sun
I can forget the past
as if it never was
& I have no regard
for the future
I imagine I can live
without question
& without reflection
yet I know
just these words
put pay
to the lie
meta
& mood
is
metaphysics
just
a
matter
of
mood
or
mood
an
expression
of
metaphysics?
metaphysics
just
a
matter
of
mood
or
mood
an
expression
of
metaphysics?
the
drive for consistency
no
one
holds the line
against
contingency
we move in & out of
different
patterns of
holds the line
against
contingency
we move in & out of
different
patterns of
thought
& action
the figuring of
a stability
a definite way
to be
a necessity
for
the next step
&
for
sanity
always at risk
6:38
sweet
heart flies
thru
door
on hinges /
what happened to
albert's hair
does anyone know?
looks good to me
that's it
sliver card holder
out of non-existence
heart flies
thru
door
on hinges /
what happened to
albert's hair
does anyone know?
looks good to me
that's it
sliver card holder
out of non-existence
law
of
the conservation
of
mass?
dr
prunesquallor
at
the george
laughing
says
'by
all that's absent
where
does anything /
anyone
go
when
gone?
ask
joan'
just like you
kiddio
there for the revelation
substance
in a
form
table top
stripped down
for
tiny
ancient ceremony
ancient ceremony
inventing
gods
for
thanks
giving
spider
side
stepping
over
carpet
stops
looks
2 new aboriginal
paintings
to configure
into
looks
2 new aboriginal
paintings
to configure
into
a
web
of possibilities
looking right at u
of possibilities
looking right at u
sartre had bad
eyes
that could see
thru
to nothing
gregory
said
said
'it
was like
like losing a limb'
must
rebalance
the world
like losing a limb'
must
rebalance
the world
quickly
card
holder
at
the centre
yo
ho
& you wouldn't know it
everything
everything
doubled in size
over night
the professor said
throwing out
a glint
zeke turns up
towers over gate
everything
everything
doubled in size
over night
the professor said
throwing out
a glint
zeke turns up
towers over gate
steps
back in time
down the old path
past
the
aucuba
gold dust
gold dust
bush
old
survivor from
‘1310’
days
to now
to now
134.
(as it just
was)
says
jude
we're
off to rococo
waiting room
little girl
5 or 6
with her colouring book
& textas
spread out on the white
leather couch
looks up to the abstract
paintings on the walls
& chooses
her next colour
5 or 6
with her colouring book
& textas
spread out on the white
leather couch
looks up to the abstract
paintings on the walls
& chooses
her next colour
the
poem
so
you leave it
unfinished
the words
as they
fell
as they were
placed
you leave it
unfinished
the words
as they
fell
as they were
placed
against
each
other
a painting
of syntax
as if ever
an end point
to the endeavour
a painting
of syntax
as if ever
an end point
to the endeavour
to delight
or a fix
to form
an artless
focus
you might say
leaves space
for
everything
not yet dreamt
everything left
to
be said
thesoundoftheworldapianoplayedw/killerhandsrhythmchangesabrupthardness&itslossfallingtoagentlenessfornoreasonrepetition&variationendless
two
philosophers
(from & to)
opposite
directions
pass
in
(silence)
fitzroy
st
(from & to)
opposite
directions
pass
in
(silence)
fitzroy
st
(for
rai
gaita)
the
story
is
always moral /
whoever
tells
it
& the back fighters
look for
construct
clear lines
& some dig for
proofs
(as if
there is finality
in reverence
let's put on
the robes)
& the conflicts
are not resolved
cannot be
so where can you
stand
& what line
will win the day?
yes
you can fight
the good fight
or
back out
always moral /
whoever
tells
it
& the back fighters
look for
construct
clear lines
& some dig for
proofs
(as if
there is finality
in reverence
let's put on
the robes)
& the conflicts
are not resolved
cannot be
so where can you
stand
& what line
will win the day?
yes
you can fight
the good fight
or
back out
to silence
or turn to violence
to destroy
a fact or two
even just forget
& move on to
the next world
a turn of the eye
a new thought
just
a
step
across the road
the coke tram
the
first one
business suit
looked slept in
right leg shaking
continuously
face & brow
sweating
jumps off at grey st
another one
today
again early to late
business suit
looked slept in
right leg shaking
continuously
face & brow
sweating
jumps off at grey st
another one
today
again early to late
50's
between jobs
with a can
of jack daniels
a real motor mouth
pissed off with modern
australia
kids with their faces
in mobile phones
the whole
his / her / they
young women
tag themselves
with
between jobs
with a can
of jack daniels
a real motor mouth
pissed off with modern
australia
kids with their faces
in mobile phones
the whole
his / her / they
young women
tag themselves
with
can't
smoke
anywhere
restrictions
wherever you look
wherever you look
on & on
trans
rights
bicycle
paths
rap
music
remember
jack dyer lou richards
bob davis
those were the days
he's heading for
'leo's'
had some mates
there
in the '80's
thinks he'll find
the old gang there
I tell him
the next stop is 'leo's'
yeah he says
have to go
to grey street
first
remember
jack dyer lou richards
bob davis
those were the days
he's heading for
'leo's'
had some mates
there
in the '80's
thinks he'll find
the old gang there
I tell him
the next stop is 'leo's'
yeah he says
have to go
to grey street
first
yeah
so
run
with this
(you have to be quick
to catch the next
thought
it is the art)
piano played hard
& logicians
going deeper
& deeper
with less & less
& lovers in turmoil
hearts a' bustin'
against
a sky of blue
I should leave off
but I know
no where else
to go
(in actu)
was st augustine
mad?
work & enjoy
mark ruddy
said
every day:
I am tormented
for reason
underneath
the presentation
(you have to be quick
to catch the next
thought
it is the art)
piano played hard
& logicians
going deeper
& deeper
with less & less
& lovers in turmoil
hearts a' bustin'
against
a sky of blue
I should leave off
but I know
no where else
to go
(in actu)
was st augustine
mad?
work & enjoy
mark ruddy
said
every day:
I am tormented
for reason
underneath
the presentation
&
face to face
(under the hat)
what does anyone
see?
just hard to get
a fix
(illusions fail)
& you fall back
to
(under the hat)
what does anyone
see?
just hard to get
a fix
(illusions fail)
& you fall back
to
what
I see
on the street
I see
on the street
is
the flow
the flow
metaphysica
III
ob
ject
ive
ly
one
way of seeing
as valid
as
another
(many faces)
one set of beliefs
as strong or
weak
as another /
it is not a reaching
for a (the) truth
rather
the making of a path
into & through
the unknown /
& holding to one
view
idea
principle
code
why not?
or not
& staying
uncommitted
ject
ive
ly
one
way of seeing
as valid
as
another
(many faces)
one set of beliefs
as strong or
weak
as another /
it is not a reaching
for a (the) truth
rather
the making of a path
into & through
the unknown /
& holding to one
view
idea
principle
code
why not?
or not
& staying
uncommitted
throwing
the dice
calculating
the odds
taking
a punt
the dice
calculating
the odds
taking
a punt
why not?
or just letting go
leaving it all
at the post
dancing
or just letting go
leaving it all
at the post
dancing
through
the shadows
the shadows
ok
a question
how often can you
walk away?
how long
can you be
absent?
I
don't know
even
so
what difference
at the moment?
what difference
at the last?
even
so
what difference
at the moment?
what difference
at the last?
metaphysica
IV
call it
the syntax
at the heart
of it all
the unspeakable
the unsaid
GOD
is an old name
for
the nameless
the syntax
at the heart
of it all
the unspeakable
the unsaid
GOD
is an old name
for
the nameless
cowboy
eschatology
(from
‘an unfinished life’)
cowboy:
do
you think the dead
really care
about our lives?
really care
about our lives?
2nd cowboy:
yeah
I think they do
I think
they forgive us
I think
they forgive us
our sins
&
I think
they find it
easy to do
pink flake
one hand slap
ing
fingers bright
to sky
her face
is a question
mark / (s)
of any
description
failing falling
away
in a green
rain
symphony
beyond
wild bird talk
albatrossing
they
w / each other
ing
fingers bright
to sky
her face
is a question
mark / (s)
of any
description
failing falling
away
in a green
rain
symphony
beyond
wild bird talk
albatrossing
they
w / each other
sound as
sharp streams
of delight
she /
stands up
dress pull
ed
down 4
walk about
/ turns
I am
facing massive
breasts
ann
ounc
ing
departure
dress pull
ed
down 4
walk about
/ turns
I am
facing massive
breasts
ann
ounc
ing
departure
concrete
artistry
below
my window
the boys
screeding
floating
edging
texturing
curing
once a wild garden
of ancient trees
& bush /
flowers & weed
old chairs
tables
forgotten totems
the boys
screeding
floating
edging
texturing
curing
once a wild garden
of ancient trees
& bush /
flowers & weed
old chairs
tables
forgotten totems
& relics
that seemed permanent
in a natural chaos
a place where only ghosts
& strange old women
wandered soulfully
in a natural chaos
a place where only ghosts
& strange old women
wandered soulfully
& aimlessly
as if
the world was always
at peace
is now becoming
a clear plane
of sharp & smooth
emptiness
awaiting
the arrival of
cars
their stillness
& their
roar
& their
roar
14
12 25
yes
an event / any event
has / will have / be given
different / interpretations
will be made / understood
in terms of different
perspectives /
world views / ideologies
prejudices
the hard fact /
beyond / beneath /
any conjecture / theory
or explanation
is
an event / any event
has / will have / be given
different / interpretations
will be made / understood
in terms of different
perspectives /
world views / ideologies
prejudices
the hard fact /
beyond / beneath /
any conjecture / theory
or explanation
is
jewish
people were shot
&
15 were murdered
in
cold blood
people were terrified
& traumatised
at bondi beach
14 12 25
people were terrified
& traumatised
at bondi beach
14 12 25
p.s.
as to
the surviving
gunman
execute him
reforms
who needs 4 guns?
who needs 10?
& as for so called
hate speech
does anyone really think
you can abolish hate?
or is the idea
to just keep it quiet?
& who defines hate
& its expression?
& how objective
can that be?
& don't those against
those defined as haters
hate the haters?
or are you going to tell me
they love them?
who needs 10?
& as for so called
hate speech
does anyone really think
you can abolish hate?
or is the idea
to just keep it quiet?
& who defines hate
& its expression?
& how objective
can that be?
& don't those against
those defined as haters
hate the haters?
or are you going to tell me
they love them?
the unending
it is colour
hiding veneering
a nothingness
that has no
stop
(think of
forever as a black
ness
speeding back
wards)
& I prance around
in a dreaming of
geometrical fictions
solidity only
a touch / fingertip
illusions
as good as it gets
& you might end up
regarding thinking
as not worth it
pretending a trans
cendance
a moment's relief or
pleasure
the go to
(built in) amnesia
that always
returns
to paydirt
& dead eyes
staring
I fear I prologue
with no follow on
with no story to tell
& no resolution
for who can frame
the question?
you see the truth is
once you go to work
with ochkam's razor
unless you pull
your punch
there is no end to
the cutting
we have learned
to live with this
& factor in infinity
as just another game
of repetition
everyone knows
you cannot say comedy
or even tragedy
existence
as the opening
out of
which
everything
falls
& we float off
on assumptions
& as
there is no ground
to / so
from God's eye
anything goes
& the laughter
beyond the pale
is eternal
(here comes
the horror)
& now the point is
how to
find a tie off
to this fractured
dissertation
(50 yrs ago
I was in my office
at the university
right through
to dawn
I could find no
solution)
nietzche’s last words
(based on his letters)
on a street
in turin
early january
1889
the philosopher
friedrich nietzsche
saw a coachman
beating a horse
he ran to the horse
& embraced it
& then collapsed
with his arms
around it
he was carried home
& after regaining
consciousness
wrote & mailed
a number of letters
after doing this
it is said
he lost his mind
he stayed
in this state
of madness
until his death
in 1900
to ghast
turin january 4
1889
on a street
in turin
early january
1889
the philosopher
friedrich nietzsche
saw a coachman
beating a horse
he ran to the horse
& embraced it
& then collapsed
with his arms
around it
he was carried home
& after regaining
consciousness
wrote & mailed
a number of letters
after doing this
it is said
he lost his mind
he stayed
in this state
of madness
until his death
in 1900
to ghast
turin january 4
1889
sing me
a new song
a new song
the world
is transfigured
& all the heavens
are full of joy
the crucified
to jacob burckhardt
january 6 1889
I have reserved
myself
a small student's
room
situated opposite
the palazzo carignano
which permits me
to hear
the magnificent
music
below
I pay 25 francs
including service
& do all
my shopping
myself
I suffer
from torn shoes
& thank heaven
every moment
for the old world
is transfigured
& all the heavens
are full of joy
the crucified
to jacob burckhardt
january 6 1889
I have reserved
myself
a small student's
room
situated opposite
the palazzo carignano
which permits me
to hear
the magnificent
music
below
I pay 25 francs
including service
& do all
my shopping
myself
I suffer
from torn shoes
& thank heaven
every moment
for the old world
for which men
have not been
simple & quiet
have not been
simple & quiet
enough
this fall
I was blinded
as little
as possible
when I twice
witnessed
my funeral
you may make
any use
of this letter
which will not
disgrace me
in the eyes
of those at basel
I have had caiphas
put in fetters
also
last year
I was crucified
by german
doctors
in a very
drawn out
manner
I go everywhere
in my student coat
& here & there
slap
somebody
on the shoulder
& say
“are we content?”
“are we content?”
I am the god
who made this
caricature"
who made this
caricature"
I am
a turn of the mind's eye
to /
the past / the future
rooted in /
expressions of
now /
an ever flowing
stillness
to /
the past / the future
rooted in /
expressions of
now /
an ever flowing
stillness
if you want to know
I'm
as dry as the desert
when it comes
right
down
to it
I have thrown off
the casing
no one steps out
of this
but it can be read
it can be known
without substance
without structure
logicians have made
the net
of possibility
& what is
fundamental
to it
& here is
the great surprise
it is only
any mark made
by anyone
any sign proposed
at any point
in the revelation
to it
I have thrown off
the casing
no one steps out
of this
but it can be read
it can be known
without substance
without structure
logicians have made
the net
of possibility
& what is
fundamental
to it
& here is
the great surprise
it is only
any mark made
by anyone
any sign proposed
at any point
in the revelation
that is
this world
thinking of old friends
& the sadness
of lives lived
of frameworks of being
of lives lived
of frameworks of being
of thinking /
of acting
the heart's anguish
the heart's joy
all swept away
by time
poetry
it's physical
the need
spiralling
language
as the architecture
of bones
& so a playing
with stars
in broken
hands
& no order
to be found
in the explosion
of joy
that gives
to the world
a madness
of words
the need
spiralling
language
as the architecture
of bones
& so a playing
with stars
in broken
hands
& no order
to be found
in the explosion
of joy
that gives
to the world
a madness
of words
hallelujah
when leonard cohen
said
people ought to stop
singing it
for awhile
he was right
said
people ought to stop
singing it
for awhile
he was right
epic fury
O today
a-warring trap
is set
hidden angers
a-warring trap
is set
hidden angers
concealed
no more
the unleashing
of horror
in the name of
a necessity
argued out of
history?
today's loudest voice
in the claim
of righteousness
always a cover
for failure
or is it not
an appetite for
no more
the unleashing
of horror
in the name of
a necessity
argued out of
history?
today's loudest voice
in the claim
of righteousness
always a cover
for failure
or is it not
an appetite for
rapacity
run mad
who can constrain?
I should despair
though
too hardened
to no solution
for human beings
so the playout
only to watch
grim destruction
multiplying
& as with
broken hearts
anywhere
any time
we are
left to endure
run mad
who can constrain?
I should despair
though
too hardened
to no solution
for human beings
so the playout
only to watch
grim destruction
multiplying
& as with
broken hearts
anywhere
any time
we are
left to endure
the window up above
the carving
on the legs & arms /
(is where I start)
the unassailable
everything holds
itself
in defiance of
theory comes &
goes
a history of motion
interminable
in the depths
of absence
enfolding
ghost children
on the legs & arms /
(is where I start)
the unassailable
everything holds
itself
in defiance of
theory comes &
goes
a history of motion
interminable
in the depths
of absence
enfolding
ghost children
on the lawn
play games of
indeterminacy
rules for the sun
a woman in a red
jacket
appears & turns
away
I look to the dreaming
one
always
you must understand
in another world
across the way
the symphony sings
to silence
ever the background
the symphony sings
to silence
ever the background
& voices
in the darkness
anguish
for meaning
below
a square of brutal
yellow
light
in the darkness
anguish
for meaning
below
a square of brutal
yellow
light
I understand silence
the monks
at tarrawarra
back in the late ’60’s
at tarrawarra
back in the late ’60’s
an alley in austin
texas ’78
a song on the side
of the wall
& there is no one
there
empty places
anywhere
solace & sanctity
& there is no one
there
empty places
anywhere
solace & sanctity
billions of
concious
ness
es /
separated
in bodies /
the ground of play
endless
we are confined
in physics
hence
search for
confinement
enter
the gods
of unknowing /
either outside
the frame or
in
we make place /
space /
pictures
(early wittgenstein)
o the joy
yes /
& the infinite
variations
made & making
deconstruct
reconstruct
ness
es /
separated
in bodies /
the ground of play
endless
we are confined
in physics
hence
search for
confinement
enter
the gods
of unknowing /
either outside
the frame or
in
we make place /
space /
pictures
(early wittgenstein)
o the joy
yes /
& the infinite
variations
made & making
deconstruct
reconstruct
as we roam
this great
translucence
creatures
out of nothing
or / born
this great
translucence
creatures
out of nothing
or / born
from
the abundance
the fecundity
of
nature's
relentlessness
no beginning
no end
(spinoza)
the abundance
the fecundity
of
nature's
relentlessness
no beginning
no end
(spinoza)
lion of God
(resurrection)
sylvia's bees
knew
the reason
turning
their backs
to the queen's
wish
the scalpel
w / a glint
quick
cuts open
a skull
that has lost
its person
on every page
open
crushed
black roses
transforming
to brilliant
light
sylvia's bees
knew
the reason
turning
their backs
to the queen's
wish
the scalpel
w / a glint
quick
cuts open
a skull
that has lost
its person
on every page
open
crushed
black roses
transforming
to brilliant
light
these runaway days
I am back in '72 for a moment
chisholm college
days of peace
chisholm college
days of peace
& a summer of possibilities
unimagined
the perfect blue
of the st kilda sky
hard to believe
this world will ever end
spinoza had it cold
infinite & eternal
just the shape changing
of substance
& all we can do
is track the motion
sarah rings
she is still in pain
an on-going injury
I tell her to eat well
rest up & be patient
this morning
I think of
I think of
the great sacrifices
my parents made
the unfathomable
gift of their love
& I feel so unworthy
& that will never change
& jude
each day she greets me
with her beauty & her joy
& there are no words
to express
down on the street
I'm getting sick of
running into mad people
dislocated fractured broken
is there a solution?
sympathy does nothing
handouts don't help
& the idea that
'no one is left behind'
running into mad people
dislocated fractured broken
is there a solution?
sympathy does nothing
handouts don't help
& the idea that
'no one is left behind'
has been left behind
politicians & their rhetoric
just a cover for the disgrace
I can walk away
I can walk away
there is a strength in this
but always a loss
what could have been
said / unsaid
but always a loss
what could have been
said / unsaid
done / undone
there are no victories
only a trail of defeats
we can rearrange
the facts
but nothing is lost
values shift & change
despite all efforts
to find a foundation
God nature ideologies
all fail against
God nature ideologies
all fail against
the ground of unknowing
walking up to
the library steps
I see an envelope with
'hey stranger pick me up'
inside a letter
'thank you for finding this.
I just wanted to let u know
that you are an amazing person
with a beautiful soul. I hope
that everything works out
for u & that you can achieve
everything u wish to!!
you are awesome & I hope
u enjoy ur day in the
city❤️❤️ - Ela :)’
thank you Ela
right back at u
walking up to
the library steps
I see an envelope with
'hey stranger pick me up'
inside a letter
'thank you for finding this.
I just wanted to let u know
that you are an amazing person
with a beautiful soul. I hope
that everything works out
for u & that you can achieve
everything u wish to!!
you are awesome & I hope
u enjoy ur day in the
city❤️❤️ - Ela :)’
thank you Ela
right back at u
© greg t charlton. 2026.
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