if she won't have me I won't be had

 

if she won't have me I won't be had

tell the angry red haired barmaid
and the girl with the Safeway bags
and cigarette burns
tell Steve Young
and Sleepy La Beef
tell the nameless
and the heartless
tell the truth
tell the lie
tell Meridith
and Sunset Rose
tell the vagrants
they got it right
and the priests
and the nuns
tell room 42
and the fat man in the lobby
tell Buggsie
and my mother
and father
and the barman in Barfly
and Megan's walk
and the girl who dreamed
she was me
tell the laundromat
tell Vortec
the Polish playwright in 25
to buy a new coat
tell Spinoza
he has the last word
and Jerry Lee Lewis
tell his piano to play it
hard and deep and true
till the keys melt
in tears of blood

if she won't have me I won't be had

it's really just a country song
tell Ronald Reagan
and Peter and Dianne
tell the cockroaches
it's time for a walk
tell my liver
and my lungs
and my heart
on Monday
it goes into storage
tell Sweet Baby Jane
I knew all along
she loved another
and his name was Harry
tell the pragmatists
they got it right
and the skeptics
they know it all
tell the girl in the bath
who couldn't come at it
once was enough
tell Natalie
I'll marry her
or would have if she'd stopped
a moment longer
tell Willis Alan Ramsey
and Edgar Allan Poe
and Paul Feyerabend
tell the seagulls
they raise questions
and the gun runner
and the truck driver
and the boat builder
and that smooth talking dude
who hates women
because appearance
is not reality
to go back to the country
tell the yuppies
Frank Miller is coming
and Mick Grubb
formerly the Gatwick
c/o the steam engine
Edinburgh Gardens
it's a hard job
but he is the chosen one
tell the Brothers Karamazov
the N.C.A.
and Q.E.D.
tell Champion Ruby
and Marion Brown
I can't forget her running
down the railroad tracks
into my arms
tell the 16th of January 1979
and the 4th of July 1953

if she won't have me I won't be had

tell Audrey
she's responsible
for cowboy boots
and Sarah
she's not
tell the children
to stay where they are
and the politicians
tell them to disappear
tell Rhonda
I left Carlton
and the Carmelite monks
and the boys in The Albion
to start crying
tell the bottles and the cans
I drank the years empty
tell history
it's time to forget
tell the world
it's too much to bear
tell the girls
who still want it
they can't have it
not from this one
anymore
tell 'em it's the truth
tell 'em
tell 'em
tell 'em
tell their little clits

if she won't have me I won't be had

it's just what is
tell my future
it's just what is
and the one hand clapping
and the rain
and the hole in the roof
tell 'em I'll just drink
apple juice and start again
tell 'em I can do it
me and Minnesota fats
and the hustlers
at the P.O.W.
and the spermatozoa
this time it's all over
tell the perverts
and the converts
tell Jesus and the good ol' boys
tell Egon Schiele
and someone you don' know
tell Charles Bukowski
to repeat after me

if she won't have me I won't be had

tell the privet hedges
and the umbrellas
and the new males
their days are numbered
and this is a threat
tell the Swinging Sidewalks
and the swinging doors
tell the senate
Spider John is my name friends
and in between breaks
tell the emptiness
that haunts all men
and the fullness
that inspires all women
tell Sam Martina
and the lonesome fiddle man
in Montgomery
and those Jan Dunlop eyes
ask Frank
who this fuck?
tell Naomi
she's truer than blue
and Cardinal Knox
and Leah
I am the one who got away
but what a price you pay
tell Bernie Aberli
tell Glenn Casey
and the Venerable T
tell 'em all
I am the survivor
that hell is a terrace house
in McPherson St.
with a detached kitchen
tell Bryan and Dianne
and Johnny Cash
and heartache number one
tell Jenny Stone
and Debbie Smith
and Michael Dransfield
tell 'em it's the uncertainty
the agony of closeness
the pure simplicity
and silence
of love
tell 'em
truth cannot but win
or at least defeat
in the end
it all comes down to this

if she won't have me I won't be had

tell Bertrand Russell
he missed it
what a shame
and Albert Einstein
I never laughed so much
tell the Gatwick Private Hotel
it is the mansion in the sky
tell the crotchless panties
and the cutaway bras
tell James Kelly
and Bob Forrester
such a comfort in old friends
tell Lubijica
I wanted to kiss her
and Effie I did
but tell me
does it matter?
ask Ditty Harry
and Bill
and Zeke and Zac
tell Nietzsche
he was right about knowledge
but tell me something
I don't know
tell the light globe
and the punks
and the Big O
put it in a book
nail it to a cross
cut it into flesh
tell the gun lobby
to load up
the rifles
the automatics
the hand guns
the water pistols
the pop guns
the dead nuns
the shot guns
it's too late for dreamtime

if she won't have me I won't be had

the heart is glass
and love the first stone
tell the Ontological Argument
the Grand Ole Opry
the green grocer
and I mean green
tell the check out-chicks
to check out
and the birds and the fishes
to just freeze
tell a wrong number
Tweeter and the Monkey Man
John Andrews
and Urgen
tell the Statler Brothers
to get angry and kick heads
sing it sing it
tell caution and the rose
tell the laboratories
and the test tubes
there is no cure
tell Russ Hinze
Heraclitus
and Parmenides
to come out fighting

if she won't have me I won't be had

this cat does not change
or have reason to forget
tell tragedy
it's getting boring
tell honesty
and the pickaxe
tell Trotsky
and Lina Wurtmuller
tell an after-thought
and the after-glow
and the Skipping Girl
I breed hats
and am not concerned
about the Green House Effect
ask John Elliot
Bob Hawke
and unfaithful husbands
tell a heart beat
Carson McCullers
and Captain Ahab
and all the girls in Dubbo
to tell sweet lies
and marry for money
tell Ron Barassi
and all the other lonely guys

if she won't have me I won't be had

tell the lovers
the secret is
to forget about sex
and the sex maniacs
to forget about love
tell both camps
neither approach works
tell 'em the answer is
to find a room somewhere
and sit still and dignified
in the dark corner
tell Dylan Thomas
and the Lone Ranger
and John of the Cross
to meet me in the back bar
for Happy Hour
tell Mickey Newbury
he will understand
better than anyone
tell a baseball cap
a skull cap
and the garden tap
tell 'em
I have got just a little
magnanimous of late
that the strangest
smallest things
choke me up
that I give whatever I can
to whoever
that I don't understand
or care anymore
I expect to live
to 84
tell the fruit fly
and the stillborn
and the Coke bottle
and Lobby Lloyd
whoever he is
there is not a lot to be said
for secretarial courses
and personal development
tell the sleaze bag
and the old hag
and the milkman
needs to know
I am a monk
but then so was Jack the Ripper
and Ferlin Huskey
tell Sophie
I have never been so touched
and tell Beverly
I have neglected her
tell future generations
to be sympathetic
and the waitresses
and the shop assistant thighs
to move for global government
based on socialistic principles
tell the lost
they are the free
ban festas
and economic development
read dirty novels
if you have to
but on no account be seen
at auctions
or growth seminars
avoid practical mechanics
and reasoning with scientists
tell the pre-schoolers
an empty office block
a tender moment
and a street car
named desire
I have forgotten
what a woman tastes like
tell the psychopath
and the possum
the gnat
and something crushed
I will go to the Mojave Desert
but right now I need a jam pancake
then I'm going to visit the birds
in the fourth floor
of the Seaview
we always have a good time
they like to know
how it's goin'
what's new
and how ya doin'
well I've got some news for them today
but I think they already know

if she won't have me I won't be had

tell the sparrow
I am desperate for her touch
tell the girl in the pizza shop
to come running
tell the barmaids
my arms are open late
tell the coffee machine at Leo's
and the bicycle riders
and the tourists
tell Keith Glass
tell him to stop singing
and all women walking
to sing Folsom Prison Blues
it's a holiday from now on
everyone's got to bring a plate
the lights are off
the town hall clock
is dead
all you can hear is a mouse
running on concrete
the last syllable
has been
there's no one left

if she won't

tell the theatre goers
tell 'em I'm not strong enough
for gentleness
anymore
that I am comfortable
in mission lines
and bus shelters
that I am too far gone
for a house or a car or a 2.5
tell 'em I was born in Brighton
that I once took the name
Dominic
give my love to Chet Atkins
and the Glory Days
of Rock and Roll
tell the banjo
I think like it sounds
on a warm summer's day
or a starless night
tell anyone
who has ever cared
my heart has learnt nothing
at all in 35 years
tell 'em I feel like crying
am tormented by lust
and have lately taken to wearing
sandals
tell the crayfish
and the oyster
and tell the illiterates
to write this down
a hundred times
back and front

if she won't have me I won't be had

tell the open road
and the open sandwich
and Mickail Gorbachev
thank-you
tell the jigsaw puzzle
and the piece
the ancient mariner
or tram conductresses
under 25
I am still constantly
deceived by beauty
that my only defence
is metaphysics
tell Kylie Mole
and the Koo-wee-rup Swamp
I have run marathons
dived through
plate glass windows
and loved insane women
tell the state
of the nation
and those who have
BALANCE
written on
some part of their anatomy
I can be violent
for a lost cause
or a bad woman
tell 'em all
all the geriatrics
and the sports coats
I don't believe
in anything at all
in the cold cold morning light
I once staggered home
from making love
with Annie
tell John Cain
and his father
and his son
I don't wanna see
another Meccano Set
in this life time
tell Phil Edwards
and Sandy Klein
and the girl in the suspenders
she could have had me
by the balls in 1974
but the students went home
for Easter
and the occupation
was left to the cleaners
tell her to bring
her little pussy closer
I'll whisper to it sweetly

if she won't have me I won't be had

ask the wind
how does it get by without pleasure?
and the stone
what was it before?
has it really conquered love
tell Neil McCarthy
and Bill Boman
tell Schopenhauer
and Davis St.
and Carnarvon Rd.
and days of happiness
tell the heart attack
to get real
and I ask you
would you buy a hunch back
from this man?
I want documentation
and names
and yes you've got a pretty arse
but baby do you know what day it is?
tell Luke the Drifter
and Tiny Tim
the ancients knew fuck all
but what style
tell Arlo Guthrie
and Emma Goldman
humanity is getting colder
tell the park bench
and the gum tree
and the hermit
tell the convent girl
and the abandoned racecourse
and the abandoned love
tell Adele
and Brian duke
and the archbishop
and Alex
the last time I saw the light
it was alcoholic poisoning
can you see a way out?
the lift is broken
and the trees are dying
tell the balloonists
and the cartoonists
and Wendy
if you come down here
you must be discreet
this is a hard town
and deeper than south
so don't play with yourself
in public
or talk to the lamp post
unless you really want to stay
tell the Chief Justice
and the Labour Party
I know who killed Lionel
and it wasn't his little mate
ask Frank Vitkovic
and Paris Texas
why?

if she won't have me I won't be had

tell the mystery train
and Sam Phillips
and Lyn Hughes
thanks for the ride
and I haven't forgotten
Janine
tell her it wasn't
the Godfather
or the husband
or the dark source
of her pleasure
I could roll with those eyes
till only the whites
shone true
but it just wasn't love
and for love
I shot through
tell the Black Magician
and Carol
tell Waylon Jennings
Issac Bashevis Singer
and Pamela Brown
tell Barkly St.
Est. Brunswick
the night I destroyed
the temple
tell 'em
the idol was gone
the curtain torn
and the hand of God
was frozen
tell Karl Popper
and Bill Monroe
and Jim Munroe too
and the road between
Pasedena and Houston
tell the boys in the V.R.
Claims Dept.
It was too much
for a genius
and Bruce Dawe
and Lonesome Jack Lonesome
and the same river twice
tell Carolyn
I liked touching her
between the legs
when she had her jeans
on
and Rosie Probert
33 Duck Lane

if she won't have me I won't be had

this is as close as you get
tell Cool Hand Luke
and the sparrow
and the dingo
I understand sex
but have never got the hang
of mortgages
tell Cathee Luehman
and Paul Roulston
I'm joining the B.L.F.
tomorrow
and leaving my Swiss Army knife
to Norm
tell Buddha
and Peter E
and Keith
I miss him
and Vicki Pyle
and all Scorpio women
and their Cancer men
it's moonshine and madness
tell Mary Magdelene
and all liberated ladies
there is nothing wrong with men
and there never has been
a solution to this
tell the movers
and the shakers
all librarians are strange
tell Quasimodo
and the doves
I come from the unknown
and am a blood brother to the void
say he was just the son of man
and lonely to boot

if she won't have me I won't be had

there is a dead man in the Bay
and his dreams are turquoise
stay inside and bridge the gap
stranger things have happened
and Maurice thinks this too
and Billy Lee Reilly
and Cheryl
and Captain Queeg
I ate the strawberries
tell Ferrie
and her only Hope
it's not that we lose
consciousness
it's rather that consciousness
loses us in the dark pool
on the other side of the mirror
tell the Marquis de Sade
tell the paper boy
tell B.B. King
and Jack Little
I'll be there
tell The Last Temptation
and Tammy Wynette
and the Faraway Tree
and Harry Harrison
I've noticed
a lot of junkies
read his novels
but I may be wrong
tell this to the judge
and the monad
tell the street light
and last night
I fell into torment
the flames were invisible
and no one will ever know
what I saw
but believe me
Hell is bearable

if she won't

when did you last
love with all your heart
was it madness
or simple trust
hold me close
as I turn to dust
hold me
hold me
hold me
and King Solomon
and Jani
and the Pale Rider
and the night
Vincent Van Gogh
and Genevieve
and Gail Williams
and Bruce Ruxton
and the female eunuch
and tell all the happy
little pet owners
there is something
wrong with them
tell Helga
the war is over
tell Mary O'Brien
and her mother
I am not a family man
and you can tell R.D. Laing
in this state
we have emptied the asylums
into the gutter
give my regards to Jack Palance
and Chips Rafferty
tell everyone
the heart is in the Centre
and to remember the ute
and the Living Daylights
Christmas edition 1971
early Willie Nelson
and Sacco and Vanzetti
tell Michael Leunig
and Bill Bailey
tell Sherbrook Forest
and Tracy Lee
the one true smile
and the bridge across forever
tell Olinka
and the newborn
Irish ancestors
and the eccentric
I do not explain
or believe
in a hidden truth
your reasons
are fine for tea parties
and bingo nights
and by all means have a theory
about anything
and everything
but you must excuse me
if you catch me
staring into nothing
it is just that
I am a quiet man
who has only this to say

if she won't have me I won't be had

tell Earl
and Peter Bryant
and all the Gat. boys
who live
with no pretension
to meaning
I was once a true lover
and a gentle young man
but if I find out who ripped off
the toilet door last night
I'll get 'em this time
meanwhile
back in Hell St.
the saviour
has just buried
a slab
one cask
three bottles of red
and a quart of whiskey
in the back garden
Mary is in the kitchen
(detached)
making cream caramels
and getting ready to come
and tell me
what would you say
to a nineteen year old
who has just had an abortion
and bought $250 worth of heroin
to take herself out with?
would you save her
with your life?
well I didn't
and be damned
for it
when I hugged her
she said
is this for me
or is it for you?
I lied and said it was for her

if she won't have me I won't be had

on sunny days
I sit with the drunks
on Fitzroy St.
and they leave me alone
because they know
and I tell 'em
there are levels
of reality
and it's infinity we face
not death
and they like to hear this
and they start making up songs
and playing spoons
and cursing the Japanese
and they yell at the shop keepers
and the couples
and the cops on the take
and the restaurateur
and the shop fronts
and the parking meters
and the spaces
between the houses
and they tell Samuel Beckett
Godot is waiting
for me
and Charles Darwin
and Jimmie Rodgers
and John Paul I
tell 'em
I pack a Smith and Wesson
at church meetings
and jumble sales
and have never learnt
to regret
I can be deadly at morning tea
and Sunday bar-b-ques
tell Vicki G
and George Jones
tell Linda
I won't make love in a hearse
and tell Lou
and the stained glass
painting of St. George
and the Dragon
at the foot of the stairs
in the Seaview
tell 'em
I am a wastrel
and a spendthrift
I have never been comfortable
with things
and they are not too impressed
with me
it's just that they don't like
my lack of definition
and I can't cope with
their fullness
still in all
it takes all kinds
and I figure
we'll get together
in the end
in the meantime
I fill up the emptiness
that is humanity
with the longing
for her touch

if she won't have me I won't be had

tell 'em I have known great love
and it's terror
tell Conway Twitty
John Howard
and Enid Blighton
get them together for coffee
and see what they come up with
tell the bikies
and the boy scouts
and the strippers
and the Catholics
and the Melbourne Club
and the Y.C.S.
tell 'em I've lost faith
in the moment
but crave it eternally
tell the swaggie
and Henry Lawson
Gough
and Dali
knowledge
does not save souls
tell the Honky Tonk Angels
The Mothers Of Invention
and the Sisters of Mercy
don't play checkers
or go to the Otways
and stay clear of buskers
tell 'em to look to the south
and remember
the roses are watching
tell 'em
under it all
all the traces and faces
it's just the same beauty
haunted by the same pain
tell Tricia
and Johnny O'Keefe
and Patrick Francis
and the Loans Council
tell 'em to pass a motion
at the next General Committee meeting
and tell A.S.I.O.
to re-open the wound
its been a long time coming
but they found the last ballot box
it was full of spiders
and old love letters
the wrong man got elected
and the mother's club
is on the run
the Salvos have got nasty
and there's a perverse
little girl
waiting
at the foot of the stairs
and she knows
midnight mass
has had it
tell the presses to stop pressing
enough has been said
the radio has gone troppo
the angels are shrivelling up
in the corner
the sound is piercing
Nigel has crushed his violin
who can stand the pain?

if she won't have me I won't be had

tell my last cigarette
it was for beauty
and those gentle souls
who have been defeated
for good
and will not get up
again and again
tell them
tell them
tell the rabbi
and A.P. Johnson
and Hank William's spine
and the Alabama Wildman
he should still be alive
tell 'em all
to bear witness
that this is all you can do
to bear witness
and while your at it
tell yourself
over and over again
until it makes you puke

if she won't have me I won't be had
if she won't have me I won't be had
if she won't have me I won't be had

but don't tell her this
she has suffered too much
and she would blame herself
and it's not her
it's just 20 years of lovers
it takes its toll
and this just happens
ask the trees
and the flowers
and the stars
it just happens

and this is all you can ever say
it just happens
she is the only one for me

if she can't have me I can't be had
sub specie aeternitatis


(c) Copyright: greg.t charlton. 2006. 2025.
All Rights Reserved. Killer Press.